She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
