i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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