We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
