This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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