Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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