Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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