I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
