Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
