Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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