my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize