i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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