It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
