Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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