We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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