roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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