We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You're like the curious george of whores
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
