Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The Olympian is in my bed
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
