Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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