You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
