2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
