All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
