I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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