I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
