Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
