we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
