She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
