Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
