Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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