i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
