id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
