If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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