didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
