is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
