Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
