More tranny stories later!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
