I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize