week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
