imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He shit in the fireplace
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