where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
