Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
