community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
