Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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