Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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