literally had 100 drinks last night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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