It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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