sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
