what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize