8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
where does the pee come out of this thing
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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