Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
