oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
