I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
