Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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