You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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