i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
