Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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