So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Come see our sink grown plant.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
