I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize