i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
