brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
