apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
