No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize