Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize