Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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