the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
