My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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