she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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